All of the sounds on this page are available by both via
anonymous FTP from the alt.fan.conan-obrien archive site at
ftp.krunk.org /pub/conan/sounds or /pub/conan/sounds-2
or on the World Wide Web at
http://www.krunk.org/~joeshaw/conan/sounds.shtml.
'Linked' dates point to the abstract for the show.
[Conan
|Dole
|Andy
|Joel
|Guests
|Comedy Bits
|Max Wienberg 7
|Other Sources
|Acknowledgements]
Monologue jokes and other sound bites.
-
conanbam.wav (204K)
Conan being flipped onto his back by musical guest Goldfinger.
-- from 19 June 1996.
-
lolypop1.wav (46K)
"Nobody loves me. Except me lollipop tree!"
-- from 22 Oct 1996.
- Bow.wav (13K)
"Bow to King Bunny!"
-- from 22 Oct 1996.
- Woop.wav (13K)
A weird little sound Conan made during his interview with Molly Ringwald.
-- from 22 Oct 1996.
- charles.mov (157K)
Conan singing the "Charles in Charge" theme song.
-- from 17 May 1996.
- ConanA.wav (720K)
"Lisa Marie and Michael Jackson are splitting up. She says, 'He's not the
man I thought he was.' And he says, 'She's not the boy I thought she was.'"
- ConanB.wav (332K)
"I hate this man! No, I don't, I love him!" -- from 18 Aug 1995
- ConanC.wav (628K)
"Michael Jackson won 'Best Male Artist' in the MTV European Music Awards....
Apparently, Europe's definition of male is much more lenient than ours."
- ConanD.wav (584K)
"In Sicily, the Pope lashed out at the Mafia....
He said, 'Stop using violence and scare tactics. That's what Nuns are for!'"
-- from 11 Nov 95
- ConanE.wav (602K)
"In Denmark, a kitten has been born with flourescent green hair....
Apparently, Dennis Rodman really does have an odd sex life."
- ConanG.wav (286K)
"With Cindy Crawford you go 'grrooowwwwwwwllllllll!', not 'Owwww!'.
Al Roker gets 'Owwww!'."
Synchro-vox Dole sounds. Clips are from the
8 Nov 96 "That Was The Dole That Was"
collection of Dole moments unless otherwise noted.
-
niplgate.wav (254K)
"Clinton's got a third nipple! ... People got to know about nipplegate!
This nipple squirts acid at God fearing Christians."
-- from 24 Oct 1996.
-
okdoley.wav (25K)
"Okey-Doley." -- probably from 4 Oct 1996.
- doleb.wav (155K)
"Bow down to me, Conan O'Brien. Bow down to Doollee!!!"
- dole2.wav (206K)
Mission Impossi-Dole theme.
- dole3.wav (227K)
"That's Dole's house. He's sleeping in dole's bed!"
- dole4.wav (105K)
Happy Happy Dole Dole!
- dole5.wav (331K)
"Are you better off now than you were 400 years ago?"
- dole6.wav (96K)
The Maca-dole-a!
- dole7.wav (192K)
"Die in the voting booth for all I care, just hit the Dole lever on the way down."
- dole8.wav (169K)
"Hit me again! Come on, you little pasty-face nobody, be a man for once
in your life. Come on, baby letterman!"
- dole9.wav (168K)
"Dole's got a lot of Doleing to do. Dole's gonna search for the real killers."
- dole10.wav (111K)
"Dole loves MacGyger. Dole once made an adult diaper out of a baggy and a
comic book."
- dole11.wav (121K)
"Dole has no place go. Find a place for Dole."
- dole12.wav (109K)
"23-Skidoo! Let's Get funky!"
- Dole sitting in with the MW7:
- Dole's Super-Rad Cyberworld::
From 22 Oct 96.
- dole18.wav (75K)
"Youngsters, are you ready to surf the net with Dole?"
- Welcome.wav (83K)
"Welcome to Dole's Super-Rad Cyberword!" (Also contains dole18 above.)
- Doleclick.wav (5K)
The "Dole" sound made when the mouse was clicked.
- Shred.wav (17K)
"Dole shreds the half-pipe!"
- Virus.wav (74K)
website has been destroyed by the Clinton/Gore megavirus...
- Goodbye.wav (42K)
Conan typing "Goodbye" in the chatroom.
- Synchro-Vox Clinton/Dole:
From 6 Nov 96 post election interview:
- dole.wav (8K)
Bob Dole: "...dole?"
- dole1.wav (73K)
Bob Dole: "15% tax cut, polls are moving Dole's way, most optimistic man
in America, Bob Dooooole!"
- longdole.wav (564K)
Full Bob Dole portion of bit (includes dole.wav & dole1.wav).
- neehaw.wav (223K)
Bill Clinton: Several nee-haws at start of sketch.
- neehaw1.wav (15K)
Bill Clinton: "Neee-hawwww!"
- weight.wav (49K)
Bill Clinton: "I won my weight in Electoral Votes: 379!"
- kinkajou.wav (22K)
"What do I do with the kinkajou?" -- from ?? July 1996.
- Andy Richter in the movie "Cabin Boy":
- harem.wav (19K)
"Here's how a harem girl dances".
- attspan.wav (40K)
"I got the attention span of a circus monkey."
- worms.mov (160K)
Joel's rant from the "Worried About Joel" bit: (?? Oct 96):
"And what of the afterlife? That's a sucker's game. If
there's one thing I know, it's that when you're dead, you're
dead, and the only thing that's left is the cold ground and
the hungry worms!"
- GuyA.wav (234K)
"This weekend, the wife's making me clean out the basement,
at least that's what we call it."
- GuyB.wav (189K)
"It's the day after Thanksgiving and boy do my turkey's wings taste tired."
-- from 24 Nov 1995.
- GuyC.wav (176K)
"Well look at that, Mr. Fly has been open this whole time."
- GuyD.wav (236K)
"If you were like me, you'd be sitting in a bowl of puddin' right now."
Assorted quotes and sound bites from various guests on the show.
- Accent.wav (383K)
Molly Ringwald could care less about Conan's life,
Conan says, "So, enough about me..."
-- from 22 Oct 1996.
- angie.mov (112K)
Angie Everheart: some guy's pickup line in french.
- carvey.mov (109K)
Dana Carvey's "Conan & Andy Are Here To Stay" song.
-- from 31 Oct 96.
- domingo.mov (103K)
Placido Domingo's duet with Conan.
-- from 17 Jul 96.
- ford.mov (315K)
Metro-North train conductor Travis Ford's good-bye monologue.
-- from 7 Aug 96.
- gershon.mov (100K)
Gina Gershon: "You remind me of Eartha Kitt. 'Purrfect crime, Batman.'"
-- from 2 Oct 96.
- kyle.mov (101K)
Kyle MacLaughlan: "Wilmington, NC"
-- from 28 Aug 96.
- slim.mov (83K)
Someone's Slim Pickins impression. (? Sep 96)
- welch.mov (20K)
Raquel Welch: "I think you're very actractive now."
-- from 20 Sep 96.
- Actual Items
-
thrmbutt.wav (47K)
"You don't need to put this thermometer in your butt, but you'll want to!"
-- from 15 Nov 96.
-
whtpaint.wav (58K)
"Once you discover white paint, you'll never wash your underwear again."
-- from 15 Nov 96.
-
conpeach.wav (198K)
Ad for California Peachs: "Rich in zinc, potassium and other minerals
essential for truly explosive diarreha."
-- from 19 June 96.
-
olass.wav (54K)
"Remember: nothin' stains leather like a sweaty old ass."
-- from 19 June 96.
-
ratress.wav (65K)
"With our Sleeptite matress, rats get in, but they don't get out."
-- from 19 June 96.
-
wrhouse.wav (333K) and
wrhouse2.wav (277K)
Ad for the Bob James' Piano whore^H^H^H^H^Hware house:
"Bob James is liquidating his entire inventory so he can build a weapons
arsenal that will bring Lincoln, Nebraska to its knees."
-- from 19 June 96.
- In The Year 2000!
- 2000.wav (215K)
"In The Year 2000!" sung by "The Guy With The Really high Voice"(TM).
-
chipdale.wav (176K)
A predication from Andy: "In an attempt to update its image, Disney will
produce a hardcodre gay porn film. Unfortunately, two of its stars, Chip
and Dale, will be tragically suffocated."
-
eboconan.wav (156K)
A predication from Conan: "Ebonics will replace English as the nation's
chief langauge. Instead of ending the Inaugural Oath with 'So help me God.',
presidents will say "Yo, God, don't play me, sucker."
-
teddorm.wav (113K)
A predication from Conan: "Ted Kennedy agrees to donate his head to science.
After his death, it will be hollowed out and used as a medical school
dormitory."
- beast.mov (31K)
Carl "Oldy" Olson: "Time to unleash the beast!" (? Oct 96)
- jerry.mov (113K)
Jerry The Pimp and Pimpbot 5000:
Jerry: "Hey, metalhead, why you gotta go messin' with my bitch? I'll cut you!";
Pimpbot 5000: "You won't cut me, fool, I'll cut you."
(? Oct 96)
- pimp.mov (219K)
Pimpbot 5000:
"Mess with any of my 'ho's and I'll cut you. I like the jewelery.
I got to impress the bitches. I got my stable of fine fillies."
(?? Sep 96)
- snuka.mov (42K)
Professional wrestler Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka:
"It'll only make him a much more better spirit."
-- from 23 Oct 96.
- smobros.wav (352K)
The song the Smothers Brothers sang about Conan on their first appearance.
- hazel.au (128K .au file)
The "Hazel Nuts" song.
- The "Three Beatles" Sketch from
24 November 1995.
- The "Cheer Up Peter McNeeley" sketch from 18 August 1995
- McNeelyA.wav * The tale of the tape
- McNeelyB.wav * Tyson's money chart
- McNeelyC.wav (1005K)
Don King's Message
- McNeelyD.wav * Jake LaMotta's (real) advice
- McNeelyE.wav (760K)
"The hurricane's gonna wrap Mike Tyson in his Cocoon of horror"
- McNeelyF.wav (664K)
"Hurricane" McNeely's Poem:
I float like a butterfly,
Sting like Mike Tyson.
On Saturday when I fight Tyson,
I'm going to, like, totally knock out Mike Tyson.
- MaxA.wav (1.1M) "Beach Boys "Do It Again"
- MaxB.wav (1.1M)
"Shotgun," first recorded by Junior Walker and the All-Stars.
- MaxC.wav (1.1M) ???
"The Tender Trap," originally sung by Frank Sinatra.
It was the theme for the 1955 film of the same
name, based on a play by Max Shulman.
- MaxD.wav (1.2M)
Smokey Robinson's "Tears of a Clown".
- MaxE.wav (1.2M)
Paul Simon's "Late in the Evening".
Thanks to Robert Martin <flixman@geocities.com>
for identifying MaxB.wav and MaxC.wav.
From Conan's appearance on The Howard Stern Show:
- conanfm.wav (1.3M)
Performance clips and acceptance speach.
- conanfm2.wav" (674K)
A shorter version of the above containing just the acceptance speach.
Thanks to all of people to have provided sounds clips for this page:
Most sounds captures courtesy Bob Williams, unless otherwise noted below.
The 6 Nov 96 Syncho-Vox Clinton/Dole and most of Dole's Cyberworld clips
courtesy Steve Beckman.
All other Dole clips courtesy
Chris Fortier.
Various
other .wav files courtesy Josh Mason <thepanda@hotmail.com>.
All .mov format files, courtesy Herbert Gambill.
Howard Stern sound captures by Sergio Fedasz
<sergiof@uclink2.berkeley.edu>.
Cabin Boy sound captures courtesy Xkot (Scott Erikson) <xkotweb@aol.com>.
Smothers Brothers and Hazel Nuts songs: Unknown/Anonymous.
[Conan
|Dole
|Andy
|Joel
|Guests
|Comedy Bits
|Max Wienberg 7
|Other Sources
|Acknowledgements]
Or return to Joe's LNwCOB page.
Page by
Joe Shaw --
joeshaw@krunk.org