Path: rbdc!uunet!in1.uu.net!news.sprintlink.net!howland.reston.ans.net!news-e1a.megaweb.com!newstf01.news.aol.com!newsbf02.news.aol.com!not-for-mail From: gracen911@aol.com (GraceN911) Newsgroups: alt.fan.conan-obrien Subject: RERUN SPECIAL: ABSTRACT 5/5/94 Date: 26 Aug 1995 12:46:05 -0400 Organization: America Online, Inc. (1-800-827-6364) Lines: 223 Sender: root@newsbf02.news.aol.com Message-ID: <41nj4d$gmd@newsbf02.news.aol.com> Reply-To: gracen911@aol.com (GraceN911) NNTP-Posting-Host: newsbf02.mail.aol.com LATE NIGHT WITH CONAN O'BRIEN May 5, 1994 Episode #157 _______________________________ JOEL GODDARD: Isn't it about time a few of us behind the camera got a little air time? Who's with me? NOW HERE'S YOUR HOST, CONAN O'BRIEN! - A former Arkinsas state employee accused Clinton of harassing her in a hotel room one afternoon. COB thinks it's not so unusual for the President to be accused of having an affair; it's even less unusual to hear about a state employee not working in the middle of the day. - Congress is voting on the bill to ban assault weapons today. The NRA says it will threaten our Constitutional right to bear arms and cut down on turnover at the Post Office. - People wonder why the NRA is a strong lobby. Well, they have a lot of guns - it makes a difference. - A punk group called the White Trash Mamas has asked Tonya Harding to join their band. They heard she has a good set of pipes. COB (whirls around) - I'm like a cat. Reflexes...aren't I like a cat, Max? MAX: Like a cat, and as agile! MW7: (music) DESK BIT 1: Continuity Errors (from the previous night's show) - Conan stumbles on the word "continuity" when introducing the bit. Andy assures him that it'll be edited out. Andy always has trouble spotting the errors, so Conan will point them out to him. (Dana rolls the tape of yesterday's monologue) - Conan tells a joke. The camera cuts to an audience reaction shot, then back to Conan wearing a huge white angora sweater - with shoulder pads - over his shirt. (COB and AR chat at desk) - Close up of Andy talking; camera cuts back to Conan who now has a red goatee. (COB: I have a Mitch Miller goatee suddenly. AR: I had a memory of Shaggy from Scooby Doo...and it was you!) - Conan and Andy are still talking, camera pulls back to show that the night scene in the set windows has been replaced by bricks. - Close up of Conan; cut to 2-shot revealing that Andy is no longer wearing trousers. (COB: You see what's happened here? If you look very carefully you'll see that you weren't holding your mug before.) (COB conversing with Jacqueline Bisset) - Close-up of Conan talking; the next 2-shot shows Al Roker sitting in the guest chair. (COB: The two sort of are similar. They're both the same height and they're both extremely attractive...) (Bissett is talking; cut to a woman in Conan's clothes sitting in his chair) COB: Here's where things started to get a little messy...suddenly... I am NOT a woman in her late twenties, and she is NOT a crying Asian boy, and look, you're a plant, Andy. The whole thing kind of fell apart. AR: I feel dumb as a post. COB: Well you shouldn't because you are not a trained TV person. I found you in a cornfield somewhere. MW7 (music) COMMERCIALS BUMPER: Night. Conan picks up a sneaker in Washington Square Park and furtively hides it in his jacket. DESK BIT 2: May is sweeps month, so Conan will chat with Polly The NBC Peacock. Conan asks what NBC has planned for the month. POLLY: Braak! We'll be sweeping up the competition with a weekend of NBC-rrific specials. Friday night it's the king of country music Garth Brooks right here on NBC. Braak! COB's not a big fan. Polly says it's not just music, Garth also flies around the stadium on cables. Conan's still not thrilled... POLLY: ...and if you watch the show he buys you a car! (applause) COB: I really don't think he does. POLLY: It's a convertible. Braak! AR: Polly, I'm sorry, but Family Matters is on at that time, and I never miss it. POLLY: Braak! Urkel's a transsexual! His real name is Louise! COB: It is not! All I know is he's funny, Polly! POLLY: (cunningly) It's in Spanish! COB: What else do you have in store? POLLY: Back to back Mommies! A full hour! They work out with supermodel Angie Everhart! Homina-homina! Braak! COB was going to watch an ice-skating special on CBS with Nancy Kerrigan and Oksana Baiul. Polly says they're out of shape. "Big as houses! Braak!" COB says the Olympics was only 2 months ago and they were in shape then. Polly claims they're stuck in traffic and not to watch because "you'll go blind. Braak!" AR: Oh, that network shill! FIRST GUEST: actor David Hyde Pierce (Frasier) MW7 (theme from Frasier) - DHP was watching LNwCOB when Anka Radakovich was on. On the West Coast her description of what was in her book on kinky sex was interrupted by a report on the signing of the Peace Treaty in the Middle East. DHP was bummed. - The part on Frasier was written for DHP because of his physical resemblance to Kelsey Grammer. (COB: Did you watch Cheers to get an idea on how to play his brother?) DHP: Just like LNwCOB, I've ALWAYS watched Cheers (applause). DHP mentions this is his first talk show interview and gets a hug from Andy. - DHP loves when people say things on talk shows just to get applause. He demonstrates: "Doesn't Conan look great tonight?" (applause) "In my spare time I devote myself to saving tiny homeless people." (applause) - (Is DHP enjoying his success?) It's hard to be recognized - it must be the same for Conan. COB: People think I'm Ralph Malph from Happy Days. DHP started by being anti-social (Are you on TV? NO!!!) and has gotten more comfortable with it. Now he goes to people's houses and introduces himself. COMMERCIALS BUMPER: Camera pans down studio wall, over audience to stage. FIRST GUEST: David Hyde Pierce (continued) - COB thinks DHP is terrific, don't you? (applause) - (DHP has done theater in different countries. Where has he gone?) New Haven. Russia and Japan. (What about the language differences?) When DHP was in Japan doing a talky Russian play in English they'd hear a "ping" noise in the audience. Found out that the Japanese had handheld translation devices; the "ping" would happen when audience members fell asleep and dropped the receiver. - In Russia, DHP was there before "the borscht hit the fan"; in restaurants people got paid whether they worked or not. DHP would go in with a pack of cigarettes, leave them on the table to get service, and give them to the waiter when paying at the end of the meal. (COB knew someone who'd been to Russia then; he went to a huge empty restaurant without a reservation and no one would seat him). DHP says that nothing on the menus was ever available except beet dishes. COMMERCIALS BUMPER: COB in '50s sitcom family TOMORROW'S GUESTS: John Goodman, Rob Lowe, Shonen Knife BIT: The Ventriloquist Dummy Choir celebrates Cinco de Mayo by singing "Cielito Lindo" (COB pronounces it successfully and grrowls). (The ventriloquists and their dummies wear sombreros and those Mexican blanket thingees over their shoulders; they sing in Spanish. "Ay, ay, ay, ay..." COB wipes a tear from his eye as they finish). The dummies begin arguing about who was off-key as the camera fades to... COMMERCIALS BUMPER: Conan and Andy through a camera viewfinder SECOND GUEST: director Pedro Almodovar (Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown; Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down; Kika) (clip from Kika with Veronica Forque and Victoria Abril) - (COB mentions that Almodovar uses well-endowed women in his films) PA says the breasts are fake, that he feels like Russ Meyer (he calls him Ralph). PA says voluptuous women are symbols of optimism. - (COB: There's a lot of raw sensuality in your movies). PA: I didn't know! That's the reason I came here, so you can explain my movies to me. I hope that after this program my English will improve. COB asks how his Spanish accent was; PA said he expected a Boston accent from Conan. - (There's rape and murder in this movie, but it's a comedy. How do you do it?) PA: It takes talent. COB: It's hard in America to do a film with those topics. Do you think Americans are uptight? PA thinks Americans are not as prudish - at least in the cities - as the MPAA thinks. PA: (to audience) You are more civilized than you think. COMMERCIALS BUMPER: Conan in the chariot race from Ben-Hur MUSICAL GUEST: percussive dance troupe Stomp perform (8 men and women dancing, stomping and punctuating their movements with snaps, rhythmically banging poles on the floor and clacking sticks against the poles) COMMERCIALS Goodnight, everybody! ---------------- Grace Nall a.k.a. GraceN911@aol.com 75260,2143@compuserve.com/gnall@bmgmusic.com